i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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