The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
