So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
