Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
