I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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