In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
