so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
