For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize