just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
