Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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