Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So many bounce houses so little time
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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