Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
