I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
