he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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