Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
