i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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