oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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