Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize