I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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