i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
