I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Your penis caused this!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
