She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize