he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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