if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
