Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
