she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
