It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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