I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
