We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
