I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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