THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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