i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
