Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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