I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
