Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need moral support for this bender
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
