We're like a lot better than the average bears
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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