Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
