We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
