Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
