no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I look better un-naked...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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