So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
