How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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