I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
the day after is always just damage control
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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