For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
