I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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