If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
