I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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