Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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