My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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