that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
