He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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