Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
More tranny stories later!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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