Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
