Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
