Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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