Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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