so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So vagazzling was a success
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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