In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We had sex on a dog bed..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
