Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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