She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
