just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
